Book #2: Aches, Pains, and Love by Kira Lynne



  • The second book in our Live Plan Be Book Club is Aches, Pains, and Love: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those with Chronic Pain & Illness by Kira Lynne.

    A life coach, registered professional counsellor, holistic nutritionist, and reiki master, Kira Lynne is the author of Aches, Pains, and Love: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those with Chronic Pain & Illness.

    When she was only 20 years old, Kira’s doctor diagnosed her with several chronic illnesses and pain conditions, predicting a limited and difficult life. Kira dedicated the next 20 years of her life to proving her doctor wrong, and has become an expert on living well despite limiting health conditions. She now helps others face similar challenges with courage and optimism.

    Both entertaining and practical, Aches, Pains, and Love provides a step-by-step guide to getting the love you want, regardless of your physical condition. From creating a strong personal foundation to finding prospective partners, to dating, to sex and beyond, Kira offers a host of real-life stories, frank practical observations, and specific tools that will help you decide what you really desire in a loving relationship and guide you toward achieving that happiness.

    Kira was recently featured on our Pain Waves podcast.

    She also has 3 articles on Live Plan Be.

    1. Two Ways to Lift Emotional Barriers to Intimacy
    2. Four Communication Tools for Close Relationships
    3. Four Keys to Satisfying Sex When You Live with Chronic Pain

    Find the book:

    • In Vancouver, at Banyen Books, Little Sisters Book & Art Emporium, and Chapters and Indigo stores
    • Online, at Amazon, Chapters/Indigo, Jet, Kobo, Smashwords, and Nook/Barnes & Noble.
    • By audiobook, at Amazon, Audible

    Have a question for Kira about intimacy and relationships? Log in to your Live Plan Be account and hit "Reply" below to ask her a question!

    Don't have an account? Create one!

    1. Click “Create Account” in the top right-hand corner of https://forum.liveplanbe.ca/.
    2. Follow the prompts and create your username and password (your username can be anything you like if you wish to remain anonymous).
    3. Start posting on Live Plan Be!

    DISCLAIMER: We have chosen this book to help promote discussion among people living with pain. The views expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect the views of Pain BC or Live Plan Be.



  • That is a really good question, and a topic to which I have given a lot of consideration. Ultimately, I like to suggest following your intuition, and doing what feels right for you. When I go on a date with someone new, I generally don't say anything about my health issues because I'm not sure yet whether this is someone I am going to want to develop a relationship with. I figure if I don't absolutely need to share about my symptoms and limitations, why not keep it to myself, at least until I decide that I would like to get to know this person better. After all, I may decide I'm not interested after the first date, and then there would not have been a need to tell them anyway. Also, I like to give the person I'm meeting a change to get to know who I am, before they find out about my health condition. It may not change anything, but I feel they may get a better sense of me if thoughts of my illness are not clouding their mind.

    @Forum_Moderator said:

    Here's another question on behalf of our community: When and how would you suggest broaching the topic of your pain and limitations to a date? Is it first-date material?



  • Here's another question on behalf of our community: When and how would you suggest broaching the topic of your pain and limitations to a date? Is it first-date material?



  • @Kira The book club winner has been selected. Thanks to everyone who entered to win!



  • Thank you for the great question! Sometimes the most daunting part of meeting someone new is the thought (and dread!) of diving into the dating scene, especially when you have physical limitations. I have a few suggestions:

    1. Take it slowly and keep pacing and self-care at the top of your priority list.

    2. Determine your boundaries ahead of time: how long you can comfortably sit, stand, walk and socialize, and do your best to stick to them.

    3. Put careful consideration into the easiest ways for you to meet new people. There is an extensive list of ideas on pages 103-104 of Aches, Pains, and Love, a few of which include: focus on being a little more social in areas related to your passions and interests, consider using an online forum/site/app for meeting others, tell your friends you are looking to date and accept blind dates and set ups, and just talk to more people whenever you are out.

    4. Consider revamping your vision of what dating looks like. You are not leading a typical life, so your dating and relationship style may need to be a little more atypical. Perhaps you will connect more online and start a relationship there, slowly moving into in-person meetings. Figure out what would work for you, and take it from there. Put your creativity to good use and come up with innovative ways to bring dating into your life without sacrificing your well being.

    I hope this response has been helpful. I do go into the topic in much greater detail in the book, in case you would like more ideas.

    @Forum_Moderator said:

    Hi @Kira, we're so glad to have you on the Live Plan Be Book Club!

    I have a question on behalf of our community: "How can people in pain get into the dating scene? Especially if they find going out painful or tiring?"

    @Kira said:

    Hello, and thank you, LivePlanBe, for having me as part of your book club! I look forward to hearing from all of you - questions, comments, insights are all welcome.

    And bonus: we are doing a giveaway in connection with the book club. Anyone who asks me a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships on the Forum by June 30 will be entered in a draw to win a copy of Aches, Pains and Love!



  • Hi @Kira, we're so glad to have you on the Live Plan Be Book Club!

    I have a question on behalf of our community: "How can people in pain get into the dating scene? Especially if they find going out painful or tiring?"

    @Kira said:

    Hello, and thank you, LivePlanBe, for having me as part of your book club! I look forward to hearing from all of you - questions, comments, insights are all welcome.

    And bonus: we are doing a giveaway in connection with the book club. Anyone who asks me a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships on the Forum by June 30 will be entered in a draw to win a copy of Aches, Pains and Love!



  • Hello, and thank you, LivePlanBe, for having me as part of your book club! I look forward to hearing from all of you - questions, comments, insights are all welcome.

    And bonus: we are doing a giveaway in connection with the book club. Anyone who asks me a question about sex, intimacy, or relationships on the Forum by June 30 will be entered in a draw to win a copy of Aches, Pains and Love!


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